How painful it is…

© Krystallenia Photography

There were just few times I had to cancel my performance at a concert. Twice due to ethical reasons, which I had nothing to do with. Another was a postponed concert for health reasons (which already not nice, but at least I ended up performing later in another announced new date). And the most painful was the total annulment of my performing. In this last situation once there were two opera galas with orchestra, choir, a conductor that came from another country and other soloist, there was no chance to postpone, of course.

I really don’t know what’s more painful: if the impotence; if realizing and informing I was not able to perform at all; if those moments when the performances were takin place and I was in bed with no energy and trying to get better or if the post- performance where I can read everywhere I wonderful were the concerts (I knew they were going to be spectacular! The repertoire was magic and all musicians absolutely great) and I was not there.

I have no definitions for all these emotions. Stage love is the feeling that moves us in this beautiful career but sometimes so painfully demanding. Therefore when that moment for which we’ve been enthusiastically preparing is taken away from us, an immense sadness embrace us and the tears take the place of the smile. And although they do not solve anything at least they clean our soul a bit. I cried. I really cried.

Sometimes it happens… And this time it happened to me…